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  • Have the Right Tools for the Job
  • Protective Behaviors
  • Looking Out for Your Buddy
  • You Can Make a Difference

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  • Alternatives to Drinking
  • How to throw a party responsibly
  • AlcoholEDU

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Jayhawk Buddy System Toolkit

Have the Right Tools for the Job

Alcohol can make your night unpredictable. With the right tools, you can make the best of any difficult situation. Remember the 4 D’s below to get yourself and your friends out of a jam. Act if you notice someone needing assistance. Be part of the solution, not a bystander.

DIVERT your buddy’s attention away from continuing consumption of alcohol.

• Change location:  “Let’s go someplace else for awhile.”
• Change activity:  “Let’s play darts for a while.”
• Change beverage:  ”Let’s pace ourselves with a glass of water or Coke.”
• Use a compliment:  “Those are cute shoes! Where did you get them?”

DEFLECT your buddy’s aggressive behavior with humor.

• “How ‘bout those [insert Buddy’s favorite sports team here]?”
• “Did you see [insert popular TV show] this week?”
• “Did you hear what [insert name of buddy or acquaintance] did in class?”

DIFFUSE an explosive situation by distancing your buddy from that location.

• “Let’s go outside to get some air.”
• “Let’s go to (insert name of buddy)’s apartment.”
• “Let’s go over there (across the room) and see who we can find.”

DEESCALATE strong emotions by introducing other buddies into the situation.

• Get help:  “John, Joe, Mary…I need your help over here.”
• Make eye contact with your buddy and speak in calm manner.
• Ask your buddy to sit down and take a breath.

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Protective Behaviors

These tips may be no-brainers, but a simple reminder is always good:

• Stay together from start to finish. Never leave your “wingman”.
• Eat a balanced meal and drink plenty of water before going out.
• Always tell someone where you are going.
• Never leave your drink unattended.
• Pace yourself with soft drinks or water.
• Check-in with your buddy often.
• Pay attention to your surroundings.
• Have a plan to leave quickly if the need arises.
• Use SafeRide, SafeBus or a designated driver to get home.
• Keep your cell phone charged and with you at all times.
• Program 911 and SafeRide into your address book.

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Looking Out for Your Buddy

You probably have been in tough situations involving alcohol and your friends. Sometimes it is tough to spot the telltale signs that someone’s had one too many, but it’s even tougher to figure out what to do about it. Some situations we act to prevent problems before they start and other times we need to jump in before an uneasy situation gets out of control.

Situation: Your buddy tells you “I’m going to get wasted tonight.”

Your buddy is determined to get really, really drunk this evening and you suspect this evening will not turn out so well. What do you do at this point? Many students aren’t sure if they should even approach the topic with their buddy; much less preach to them about drinking. Well, there are ways to not preach, but still make sure your buddy is safe and has a good time. The key here is to prevent a problem before it begins.

The “I’m getting wasted” comment is a signal for you to take action to avoid a bad night for both of you, such as checking in with them before they start drinking to ask how they are doing. Ask “how’s your week been?” You might discover that they are really stressed or may want to just hang out for the night instead of getting trashed. Going out for dinner or catching a movie might be a much better solution than getting wasted.

If you and your buddy decide to go out, make use of the Jayhawk Buddy System Protective Behaviors to safely have a good time.

 

Situation: “Halftime is almost over. I’d better chug these beers before the game starts again.”

In this situation, your buddy may be on the path to a to a very unpleasant trip to the toilet, or even the emergency room. You can clearly see that your buddy is drinking way too much alcohol in a short amount of time. The key in this situation is heading off an inevitably disastrous ending.

Before your buddy reaches for the next drink, get his or her attention and use some of these strategies:

• Ask them to take a break with you and go outside for some air.
• Take them aside and ask them not to embarrass themselves or you.
• Encourage them to leave and grab something to eat with you.
• Tell them that you will get his or her next drink for them – and make it weak or replace it with a non-alcoholic beverage. They may not be able to tell the difference.
• Be honest with your buddy:
• “I’m not cleaning up your puke tonight.”
•  “I don’t want to have to leave early because you’re too drunk”

 

Situation:  Your buddy is clearly very drunk.

In this situation, your buddy is pretty toasted, but able to function and is aware of his or her surroundings (can tell you who they are and where they are). A heavily intoxicated person is often easy to recognize. The slurred speech, clumsy gestures and embarrassing jokes are dead giveaways. The best thing you can do is to stop them from pouring more alcohol into their already overtaxed system. Lead them away from the booze by drawing their attention elsewhere.

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You Can Make a Difference

Calling for help

Calling 911 – sometimes it may seem drastic, but it is better to err on the side of safety than jeopardize your buddy’s health. If you feel concerned about a buddy’s immediate condition, trust your instincts. If your buddy goes to the hospital, he or she has the best chance of making a healthy and quick recovery.

Don’t worry about getting in trouble—just do the right thing!!

You may worry that alerting the housing staff, or directly calling 911, will have negative outcomes for you or your friends. Your RAs and other staff are firmly committed to keeping students safe, first and foremost. Their approach will emphasize education and healthy behavior. No one wants you to face any negative consequences for doing the right thing.

EMT’s are primarily concerned about health and safety. Do not risk your buddy’s life because you are afraid to call 911.